Breakfast Brawl

This entry was written on Feb 03, 2010 by our Parent Guru Patricia Walters-Fischer

Every morning, I have to figure out what to serve my kids for breakfast. It seems like an easy task, serve something warm when it's cold outside, serve something cool when it's going to be hot outside. A protein, some fiber, and carbs to get them through their morning and to lunch, which I also send.

No matter what I have on the plate, it's rare when I don't hear "I'm tired," wait, no that's not right. It's more like (shoulders slumped and with a sigh) "I'm tiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrred." You'd think they hadn't slept in days and they were off to work in the mines.

If I play into this, "yeah, we'll I'm tired too" routine, it starts into "Moooooooom, I'm serious, I'm tired" and then the urge to say "you have no idea what being really tired means", but what's the point?

Ah, the ignorance of youth. Yes, the bus arrives far too early in the morning (well before 7a) and yes, I'd rather sleep another half hour before having to get up. Trying to explain to kids this time of their lives will be their easiest is like trying to get Lady Gaga to wear mom jeans, a wife beater top, and plain (gag) flats.

It's not as if I don't think they are tired, it's early, they do need sleep, and to dismiss their vocalization of their distress, I do listen. It's just when they make the morning so damn frustrating by the continued proclaiming of their discomfort. Ahhhhhhhhh! Makes me want to pull my hair out, but as a parent, I have to keep remembering my job as a mother is to feed my family, educated our kids, and not to freak out when the children keep telling me they'd rather go back to bed.

Some days it's hard to not play into the game of Who's More Tired, but there are mornings when it's everything I can do not to yell and get annoyed. I know parenting is a never ending rollar coaster, full of highs and lows, some you see coming, others take you by surprise.

But then again, maybe I should just drink a cup of coffee before the kids get up. Then I'd be more awake, more grounded, and ready to face the morning whines.

Offering Advice?

This entry was written on Jan 20, 2010 by our Parent Guru Patricia Walters-Fischer

I have no idea what happens when people become parents, but all of a sudden, we feel this need, this want, this passion to share our experiences and knowledge--even to those who didn't ask (and most don't).

What is it about parenting that makes us automatically think we know exactly what the other parent needs to hear to lessen their burdens?

We don't.

More times than I can count, I've given "helpful hints" and "good information" to mothers, fathers, grandparents, even the kids themselves in all sorts of places. Most nod their heads, even smile, and say "thank you" when I'm done, but I've started wondering how many are thinking "Look Lady, I know you mean well, but didn't ask you. Now please go away before I let my toddler chunk his wet diaper at you."

I think it's the desire to connect with other parents, other people, and to keep us from going crazy. Parenting can require an adult to go for days without having a rationale conversation that doesn't include the words Wiggles, Dora, diaper, potty, or no. (Let me change that) NO!

Endless amounts of time playing games like I Spy, Princess Dominoes, Candy Land and now far can I throw my lunch across the table (okay, that's not really a kid/parenting game), can send even the most level-headed of parents wanting to send themselves to time out and running for high fat carbs.

After working as a nurse and and now as a mother, I know I have a lot of answers, good answers, and solid information, but it doesn't mean everyone else wants to hear it. I've figured out if I can't shut up to a woman in the cereal aisle about what is the best way to get a child to quit chewing on the handle of the shopping cart, I haven't had enough downtime. So, I'm working on that, but it doesn't mean that I won't start giving information and "the right way" to do things to some mother I see at pre-school. I'll just have to work on how much is enough.

Barbie and the Three Musketeers Doll-In Search of Renee

This entry was written on Dec 16, 2009 by our Parent Guru Patricia Walters-Fischer

I find that this time of year causes me to go into a panic. What should I get for our kids? Each other? Family members? Will it be right? Will they like it? Why am I still overweight---sorry, wrong entry, but the point is, come December, I'm all weirded out about the presents.

And this year, I've reached a new level in my shopping adventures. I don't want to write "high" or "low" for the level, I'll let you decide that.

For the first time ever, I found myself pulling out all the Barbie and the Three Musketeers Dolls from the bin at my local super grocery store to find one particular doll. The dolls were half off and it was right before Thanksgiving, so I decided this would be as good of a time as any to purchase them, but here I am, leaning into this huge bin of Barbie dolls, a doll that I swore I would never buy for my daughters, frantically looking for the Nikki AKA Renee or Blue dress doll.

Another mom came by and asked me what I was doing and I told her. She helped me look and we discovered that they had three of the four, with the one missing as the one I needed. Of course, now Mattel adds the catalyst to make rationale moms like me into crazed, shopping fools on a mission.

"Why is there a shortage of the Nikki doll?" I wondered. She appears to be darker skinned than the other three and with the release of Disney's Princess and the Frog and Princess Tiana, the first African-American Disney princess doll, surely, they have plenty of Nikki dolls to go around for those who won't see the frog movie. Right?

No, it's not right. In fact, I had trouble even finding the doll on-line.

"Sold Out!" Amazon said.

"Not in Stock" at Target.com.

As I'd feverishly shop online, re-check and re-check local our local grocery store where I bought the other three dolls (I mean come on, they were still half price), my husband kept saying, "Why do they need all four, can't we just give them two (one for each girl)?"

I looked at him as if he'd said he thought Tiger Woods was his idol (and my husband doesn't even play golf) and replied, "But it's Barbie and the Three Musketeers. There are four dolls, they have to get all four or the story won't be right!"

"But she said she only wanted the pink one and you got three of the four."

I held my chin up. "Yes, but the girls will be glad when they have all four."

He shook his head and said, "but they've got enough already. They don't need it."

Surely he must be wrong because having this Renee doll will make me the best mommy ever. Surely if I find this doll, our girls will be perfect children, World Peace will occur, and I'll automatically decrease a dress size by New Years---damn, sorry, still another blog. But the point is that I had a mission and after not being able to do this myself, I had to call in reinforcements.

I enrolled my mom, my neighbor, my friends, my sisters-in-law, and my husband's cousin (who lives in another state by the way) to go in search of the elusive Nikki doll.

After searching the internet once again, I located on at the Target about ten minutes from my house--VICTORY! But when I arrived, no doll. Only the space for it.

The employee checked in the back and even called another store--nothing.

O-K, no problem. I literally wandered the toy aisles to see of someone had picked a doll up and put in somewhere else either because they were too lazy to put it back or they were trying to hide it. "Kids could have picked it up and the parents, who refused to buy it, put it down wherever they were. It's here!" I convinced myself. "It has to be here somewhere. Let's check auto parts."

My mind raced with scenarios of not finding the doll:

My girls will run away and join the circus! They'll quit school! In protest, they will never finish their vegetables again! Global Warming will worsen! Dogs and cats living together...I can't even think about it.

What am I going to do?

And then, when all seemed lost, the phone rang. It was my mom. Good news! She found the doll at Toys-R-Us and had it in her hand.

Hurray! I'm the best mommy ever and the search for the Renee AKA Nikki AKA Blue Dress Three Musketeers Barbie Doll has drawn to a close.

In retrospect, it seems silly to search for this one thing, but isn't that what makes the holidays unique?

Advertisers’ ability to drive normal and rationale moms, like myself, into crazed, tunnel-visioned, morons who go on these missions as if we were the original Mission Impossible Team trying to free a country from an evil dictator.

Ahhh, I love the holidays...enjoy yours.

**No one was trampled on, elbowed, stepped on, cut off, or pushed out of the way to obtain this doll**

New Foods and the Holidays

This entry was written on Nov 11, 2009 by our Parent Guru Patricia Walters-Fischer

With the holidays coming up, it's a great time to expose kids to new dishes. Before the collective eye-roll occurs, as a mom, I more than understand the difficulty getting children to eat anything new.

Kids are by nature creatures of habit. They like what they like and don't want a whole lot of change, especially when it comes to food. Studies show that kids need at least 5-10 exposures to food before they'll eat it (well, most things). Problem is, when you're going to grandma's house for Thanksgiving and everything is new, it can be hard to get kids to eat anything. Take a breath and understand all is not lost.

First, set the ground rules before you go. If the kids are old enough, explain to them about the food that will be served and that good manners are expected. No matter what is prepared, or in some cases purchased, whomever went to the trouble of getting the food on the table shouldn't be insulted by comments of "gross, what's that?" or "I don't like that!" or "I want hot dogs."

Second, just one bite. Tell the kids they have to try something new and all they have to take is one bite. This does two things, it exposes the kids to new tastes, smells and textures, but also pushes the kids outside the boundaries of their chosen palates.

Third, exposing the kids to new foods may help expand their wants to healthier treats. Granted, sweet potato(e) pie might not be all that healthy, but it's a new taste and vegetable. Sweet potatos are rich in beta-carotene and fiber and can be a great substitute for regular potatos and can be prepared the exact same way.

Cornbread dressing may be loaded with carbs, but (standard recipes) contain celery, boiled eggs, and spices that may not normally be on a kid's plate.

Cranberries, the token color for the table, is a fruit rich in Vitamin C. Its tart taste can turn off kids, but when a little sugar or splenda (just a sprinkle) is added, kids may eat it up. Cranberries are also great for urinary health.

Fourth, tell a story to do with the dish. Food and family go together, but so do family stories. Telling the story of the first time you helped mom make cornbread dressing can really stir a lovely conversation of times gone by. History of the time period, games played, and the people there can help give the kids listening a great way to connect with relatives.

Fifth, if you do these things, you'll look incredible as a parent. Let's face it, holidays are hard and for some reason, Thanksgiving seems more stressful than others. Comments or looks from your in-laws or even your relatives can send even the most confident parent wondering where he/she went wrong, but having such interactive, polite, children can only be a feather in your cap and make the holidays look like a true present.

10 Ways to Calm A Crying Baby

This entry was written on May 24, 2001 by our Parent Guru Patricia Walters-Fischer

Babies can be fussy and usually at inappropriate times, such as three in the morning or three in the afternoon, but understand these little ones can get frustrated and as overwhelmed as their adult counterparts. This is when full on protective instinct kicks in and we as parents do anything and everything we can to get the child to settle down and be comfortable. Problem is, the child may be telling you something is wrong.

If a child is unconsolable, start with the basics: clean diaper, food, burping, warmth, fever check (if over 100.4--call physician immediately, especially if child is under three months old) and security.

<Notice if the child is more fussy when laying flat or if in a certain position. Even if the child isn't spitting up, this could still be a sign of reflux.>

Then if all that is intact, here are ten things to try when all else fails:

1. Turn down all the noises in the house. If the TV is blaring, the radio is on, the dogs are barking, this can be sensory overload. Now, understand, don't keep your house quiet for a baby since they need to learn to function with noise, but if a child is unable to settle down, bringing the volume down around the child can help them decompress.

2. Use a front carrier like Baby Bjorn. Babies find this very comforting since they are close to you, but it helps you work hands free and move about the house. Great for walks as well.

3. If you have one, use the baby swing. Repeated movement such as swinging can help calm a crying baby. Also, if they are experiencing reflux, this position can help.

4. Keep a stroller in the house and walk the halls.

5. Sing. Lullabies work. (It doesn't matter if you don't think you can sing, the child wants to hear your voice. Plus, whether you sing a regular lullaby or something from your teen years simply sing in a low, soft, and caring voice.)

6. Turn on some white noise - vacuum, hair dryer, static on the radio, but pick only one noise. Adding more and more can freak the baby out since it's more to process.

7. Go outside. The fresh air and scenery can cause a distration.

8. Take a drive, with the baby securely in the car seat. Do not put the baby in the front seat or leave in your lap! This distraction can also help the parent(s), but DO NOT drive if you're too exhausted. Be safe.

9. Distract a bored baby by blowing bubbles - at a distance so the soap doesn´t land on him.

10. Bathe him. The warmth and water can be very soothing so a warm bath or shower can help.

Understand, babies are learning their enviroments, so throwing a bunch of sensory things at them (noises, smells, tastes, touch, sight) can make them feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. Be sure if you need to use anything on this list, do it for at least 15-20 minutes and one at a time. Don't bounce the baby, sing to her, and rock her--pick one and stick with it.

Helpful Hint: set the timer because two minutes of hearing a crying baby can certainly sound like twenty.

Listening to our child scream can wear a person down. This has nothing to do with if you're a good or bad parent so no one should feel overwhelmed or frustrated if their child's crying causes enormous distress. If this is the case, see if a trustworthy friend or family member can come over and care for the child, even if it's for thirty minutes. That can offer the parent enough time to take a shower, go outside and take a walk, even take a short nap.

It's essential parents allow themselves this break because NO parent can listen to their baby's crying without feeling anxious. The parent's stress will certainly feed into the child's anxiety and a cycle starts that's difficult to break.

Finally, if the child is repeatedly fussy, it may be time to speak to your health care provider. Of course, when you take the child in, he/she will prove you wrong by sleeping through the visit, but none-the-less, make sure there isn't anything else going on.