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Let Kids Be Kids

Try not to give your child more responsibility immediately after your divorce or lean on him for emotional support as you would a friend. Itīs also important that children not hear too much about the divorce through casual phone conversations or dialogues with friends.
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Dating

When you start to date try not to introduce your kids into the relationship too early. You donīt want them to get attached to someone and then have to explain why that person is not around anymore. Take it slow and be very cautious.
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Keep the Same Rules

After a divorce, your children will be spending substantial time in two households. It is very important that the two parents follow the same disciplinary rules in each household. Children will be less confused if the rules are similar. Donīt use less discipline in one house in order to make it "more fun" than the other.
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Donīt Buy Your Kidsī Loyalty

Children need more time and love during the time of divorce; they donīt need more toys or extravagant vacations that cause them to favor one parent over the other.
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Be Honest About Reconciliation

It is very important not to give children any false hopes about their parents getting back together after a divorce. Nearly all children fantasize that their parents will reunite and that they will all live happily together again. To have this hope raised, and then dashed, can signigicantly disappoint a child.
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Co-Parenting Communication

After a divorce, it is very important to develop co-parenting communication skills. Talk to your ex-spouse in positive ways about issues regarding your children, and donīt withhold information from one another. Also, avoid having a child serve as a messenger between you.
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Keeping Scheduled Visits

It is very important to make every effort to keep scheduled visits with your child. If a non-custodial parent (the parent the child is not living with) repeatedly fails to show up as planned, it can make a child fell unimportant and unloved. Itīs also hard for a child to have a relationship with someone who repeatedly fails to keep his or her promises.
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Duplicate Homes, Duplicate Items

For kids of two-home families, it makes life much easier for everyone involved if they have duplicates of daily items such as shoes, jackets, etc. Keep one set at each house, and this will prevent extra trips back and forth, and make sure you can always find what you need.
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Stay Within Your Community

After a divorce, it is best to try and find ways to stay within your community, if possible. Maintaining contact with friends, neighbors, and relatives and keeping your child in the same school can provide much-needed stability and support to both children and parents.
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Stay Involved In Everyday Activities

During the painful time of a divorce, it is especially important to stay involved in your childīs everyday activities. Children need to see their parents at school functions, sporting events, and piano recitals. They also fare better when other family members such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles, play an active role in their life.
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Talking to Kids About Divorce

Itīs best if both parents can be present when kids are told about a parental divorce. Kids need to hear a consistent story about why their parents are divorcing. Give them concrete information about where each parent will be living, where the children will be staying, and where they will be going to school. Make it clear that the divorce is not their fault, and try your best to answer their questions honestly.
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Feelings and Couselors

It is important during times of divorce and separation to really stay in touch with your childrenīs feelings. If your children seem to be withdrawing or not expressing their feelings it may be necessary to seek a counselor for you and your children. Children may sometimes feel awkward about sharing their feelings about each parent with the other parent, a counselor can certainly be beneficial in these situations. Often times your church or local mental health agencies offer low budget or free counseling.
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Badmouthing

When you and your spouse divorce donīt badmouth your spouse, or anyone else in either family. Hold children to this rule as well. Children will not love you more if you attempt to make your spouse the bad guy in their eyes. This only makes it difficult for them, and at some point they will more than likely resent you for your attacks. Children need to feel it is okay to love both parents without making anyone unhappy.
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