May 29, 2009, Newsletter Issue #313: Delegating Responsibility

Tip of the Week

Understand that children can't read minds. They can only do "exactly" what you ask them to and this is only in small amounts.

When delegating chores, make sure it's age appropriate and start small.


Examples are: a three year old can take his plate to the sink when done with a meal, pick up his toys, and/or choose their clothes for the next day. 

                         --a five year old can make her bed, feed the dog, and/or collect the trash from the different bathrooms.

                         --a seven year old can sort his clothes to be washed, take them to the laundry room, and take out the trash.

Also understand with younger and sometimes older children, it may require you to stand their and tell them each thing they need to do.
Walking into a three year old's room and tell her to "clean it up" isn't going to cut it. Honestly, she may not know what that even means, so don't assume she does.
Go through the process with her, explain why it's important to have responsibilities, and how this is a reward, not a punishment (Because you're a big girl, you get to .....) .
If a child shows that they understand and start taking on their chores without prodding,  increase their responsibilities and reward as such. This can be as an increase in allowance to earning extra TV time, reading time, playing time, or earning a new coloring book, stickers, or a trip to the park.
Be warned DO NOT belitted if they do a chore incorrectly. This is a learning process and not one that kids instinctively know how to do. Telling them they're wrong for putting their plate on the right side of the sink instead of the left doesn't help them understand the reasons for it. Explain to them why it goes on one side and not the other (This side is where the dirty plates go, this side is where the clean plates are dried.)
A home is a group effort. It's only as clean or organized as the least clean or organized person, but it also takes work, a lot of work. It also is an opportunity to lessen the responsibility factor on the parent(s). To make such a thing work, understand you have to allow your kids to help without you being worried they are doing it "wrong". Don't allow your own way of doing things cloud your decision to give your children chores. They need to be responsible for their toys, their clothes, their home just as the parent it. Parents will find that when everyone has a hand in making a house a home, it makes the home much more inviting.


                 

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