March 26, 2010, Newsletter Issue #355: Having the uhm, uhm, uhm "Talk"

Tip of the Week

I very much remember my mom having "the talk" with me. I was nine and truly clueless about things of that nature. Problem with that, my body had already started showing signs of maturity and my aunt started her cycles at ten, so my mom became concerned.
Instead of only telling me about a woman's monthly cycle, she proceeded to tell me the entire story of how babies were made and why it was important for me to know this. Then she eneded (and I'm sure she was grateful that the talk was almost over) with "now, each mother will tell their daughter about this, so this is between you and me."
Of course, I had a slumber party that weekend and told most of the third grade girls how babies come to be and heard a lot of "ewwwwwe, that's gross!" Ironically, most of those girls weren't saying "ewwwe, that's gross about six years later.
Even with the embarassing subject of "the talk", my mom never shut the door on any question or concern I had about sex and the things that were happening to my body. She might have stumbled through it, said "uhm, uhm, uhm" about sixty times, or giggle nervously, but she never denied me that conversation. Because of that, I felt one of the most prepared, most educated of all my friends and waited the longest before becoming sexually active (I was almost 19).
The point here is that the sex talk is embarassing, frustrating, scary, nerve-wracking, and simply uncomfortable, but it's necessary. Especially now when there are so many misconceptions about sex and safe sex and even abstinence, kids have to understand how to keep themselves safe and healthy.
The head-in-the-sand mentality, you'll-learn-everything-on-your-wedding-night speech won't help your fourteen year old when he or she has questions on men and women's relationships and what is normal and okay and if just one time will be a big deal. When any hosptial's post-partum unit you visit has mothers as young as 13, it's essential to talk to kids about sex.
Because of my mother's honesty with me, I've been honest with her on pretty much anything. I'll pass this incredible aspect of parenting onto my children. And I have no doubt that I'll stumble through, say "uhm, uhm, uhm" about sixty times, and be completely red in the face, but I'll do it. And when they ask me questions I have to count to ten to answer, I'll do it because they trust me enough to ask me, so I'm going to keep that trust intact.
No matter how embarrassing it might be, they've asked so I'll answer.

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