Mommy Time Tips
Read these 10 Mommy Time Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Parent tips and hundreds of other topics.
Getting Rid of Preschool Guilt
Almost there....yep preschool starts in a few days and I'm excited and sad at the same time.
Let me qualify--I love my children, I would kill for them and hide the body, but there are times when I know being with their friends and mommy having quiet time is a good thing, for both of us.
It's taken me until this year (my daughter's last year in preschool) to allow myself not to feel guilty for sending her. What are they teaching in preschool that I can't teach her? I've got two degrees and love to learn so could we go without it? Yes.
Would I be mental and would she mental?
Yes.
The beauty of accepting them attending preschool is they are learning and then they get to come back and tell you about it. They learn that they are very capable of learning and absorbing more knowledge while you're not there, a big deal for a preschooler.
They get to learn with others and then come back home to tell you all about how they know the difference between a triangle and a square, how they held their pencil correctly, how little Bobby Taylor taught her the diarrhea song (Diarrhea, Cha-Cha-Cha).
Good with the bad, I suppose, but the lesson here is when kids go off to school, any school, it's a good thing and we as moms and dads should breathe easier that someone else is going to teach them for a bit so we can keep our sanity and brains in tact. I mean, how many times can you watch Letter Factory or the Wiggles sing about colors without wanting to start doing tequila shots?
As we all enter into a new school year, embrace your quiet time when the kids are away, without feeling guilty. Read a book, eat some chocolate, eat chocolate while reading a book about eating chocolate. Workout without worrying about having them in the kids camp. Take a nap, go see a movie, have coffee with friends, sit in the quiet, but embrace it all without the guilt.
Excercise, Excercise
If you are having a hard time finding time to do an aerobic workout or some kind of toning work out, make time with your child a work out. Go for a walk, play soccer, catch, swing your child. All of these activities burn more calories than sitting on the couch. Not to mention you get to bond with your child while doing something good for yourself.
Delegating Responsibility
Understand that children can't read minds. They can only do "exactly" what you ask them to and this is only in small amounts.
When delegating chores, make sure it's age appropriate and start small.
Examples are: a three year old can take his plate to the sink when done with a meal, pick up his toys, and/or choose their clothes for the next day.
--a five year old can make her bed, feed the dog, and/or collect the trash from the different bathrooms.
--a seven year old can sort his clothes to be washed, take them to the laundry room, and take out the trash.
Also understand with younger and sometimes older children, it may require you to stand their and tell them each thing they need to do.
Walking into a three year old's room and tell her to "clean it up" isn't going to cut it. Honestly, she may not know what that even means, so don't assume she does.
Go through the process with her, explain why it's important to have responsibilities, and how this is a reward, not a punishment (Because you're a big girl, you get to .....) .
If a child shows that they understand and start taking on their chores without prodding, increase their responsibilities and reward as such. This can be as an increase in allowance to earning extra TV time, reading time, playing time, or earning a new coloring book, stickers, or a trip to the park.
Be warned DO NOT belitted if they do a chore incorrectly. This is a learning process and not one that kids instinctively know how to do. Telling them they're wrong for putting their plate on the right side of the sink instead of the left doesn't help them understand the reasons for it. Explain to them why it goes on one side and not the other (This side is where the dirty plates go, this side is where the clean plates are dried.)
A home is a group effort. It's only as clean or organized as the least clean or organized person, but it also takes work, a lot of work. It also is an opportunity to lessen the responsibility factor on the parent(s). To make such a thing work, understand you have to allow your kids to help without you being worried they are doing it "wrong". Don't allow your own way of doing things cloud your decision to give your children chores. They need to be responsible for their toys, their clothes, their home just as the parent it. Parents will find that when everyone has a hand in making a house a home, it makes the home much more inviting.
Babysitting Co-op
It is a good idea to sometimes get out of the house by yourself even if it is to go grocery shopping or run errands. If you can't afford to pay for a sitter, swap baby-sitting hours with friends. Make sure to set rules and time limits for these swaps. It will definitely make a difference in your stress level to get out of the house for a bit by yourself and not have to worry about nap time, lunch time and temper tantrums.
Too Stressed to Sleep
If you can't sleep because of worries or stress, write down your anxieties and one possible solution to them before bed. This will help you get problems off of your chest. Still can't fall asleep, read a challenging book, watch bad tv, but don't do the laundry, or stay in bed.
Excercise, Excercise
As a parent, especially a stay-at-home one, it's difficult to juggle the daily obligations with taking care of yourself. Exercise is a great way to stay in shape, but also to stay sane. If you don't belong to a health club that offers babysitting services, it doesn't mean you can't regularly workout.
Put the child in a stroller and take him/her for a walk, pop in a DVD, or create your own workout from exercise magazines.
Another option is get a child's exercise DVD and workout with your child. It's a great way to get the child up and moving as well as them see you exercise.
Mommy's (or Daddy's) Time Out
Parenting is, at the least, stressful. Some average days at home can be more overwhelming than a bad day at the office. Children can be attached to your leg all day, watch you go to the bathroom, and be constantly demanding.
After a day (or a morning, an hour, a minute) of being bombarded with requests, whines, and temper tantrums, it takes a great deal of control not to do or say something you'll feel guilty for later.
The most important thing to help yourself is to know when you're reaching your boiling point. Recognize the signs of your impending meltdown and learn to detour feelings of anger and loss of control.
One way to help yourself defuse is to remove yourself from the situation. No, don't get in the car and leave your kids at home alone, but walk out of the room, turn around, or simply close your eyes.
Second, take a deep breath and try to think of something lovely like chocolate cake, flowers, a vacation, or a moment where you felt the most happy. Absorb that emotion and help it keep the screaming and ranting a bay. What you say in anger is something you might regret later.
Third, understand why you're angry. It sounds like a simple question, but it can be complicated. Is the fact your three year old won't potty train preventing you from being able to get a sitter so you can have some quiet time? Is it that your infant won't quit crying and you had aspirations of taking a shower AND shaving your legs? Is it that your five and seven year olds, who won't quit fighting, preventing you from getting work done? All these are completely valid emotions and frustrations, but know that every parent has been there and freaking out on your children isn't going to fix the problem. If anything, it can make it worse.
Fourth, understand that kids don't comprehend what we want either. It's not important to them if the mother gets to shave her legs or a father gets to go to the bathroom by himself. Their only concerns are their wants, their needs so it's important for a parent not to freak out if a child is acting their age. This doesn't condone the constant "mommy, mommy" song, but it should help a stress out mother to better understand why a child is acting like, well, a child.
Fifth, accept that you're human and may need help from other parents/friends from time to time. Talk to another adult, one that you can trust and won't judge. Parenting is hard enough without hearing "well, suck it up, parenting isn't a party". Join a parenting group, either in your community or online and talk to an adult everyday, even if it's about nothing because sometimes talking about nothing can help decompress the everyday stressors of parenting.
Also, if parenting is too overwhelming and you feel concern for your or your children's safety, call for help. There is no shame in asking for help, in fact, it may be the strongest and bravest thing you'll ever do for yourself and your family.
Washing Away Stress
One of the best ways to get rid of the build up of daily stress and help rejuvenate tired,sore muscles, is to run a warm bath. Put the kids to bed, fill the tub with warm water, light a few candles, turn on some soft music and close your eyes and just be in the moment. You may want to add some bath salts or beads to help moisturize your skin, or just put a dab of baby oil on all over after you get out while skin is still wet.
Excercise, Excercise
If you are having a hard time finding time to do an aerobic workout or some kind of toning work out, make time with your child a work out. Go for a walk, play soccer, catch, swing your child. All of these activities burn more calories than sitting on the couch. Not to mention you get to bond with your child while doing something good for yourself.
Excercise, Excercise
If you are having a hard time finding time to do an aerobic workout or some kind of toning work out, make time with your child a work out. Go for a walk, play soccer, catch, swing your child. All of these activities burn more calories than sitting on the couch. Not to mention you get to bond with your child while doing something good for yourself.
