March 5, 2010, Newsletter Issue #352: The Blind Side--A Mother's Identity

Tip of the Week

What is it about a mother's love that makes good movies? Is it the sacrifice? The selflessness? The unending faith and hope in those they love? No matter what it is, people seem to love it. Don't believe me? Think about movies that have made people laugh, cry, and watch the movie over and over again: Steel Magnolias, Terms of Endearment, Stepmom are just a few, but you get the point.
But behind that sacrifice, that faith, that selflessness is a woman, a woman who is trying to juggle herself with the rest of the world's perception of her.
I had no falsehoods about motherhood when I felt ready to have a child. My husband and I knew we wanted to be parents, but there were parts that we weren't ready for or even felt we'd signed up for.
The extreme lack of sleep, the vomiting, the unconsolable crying, the disgusting diapers when you try new baby food, the ER visit when your child decides to cram a pebble up her nose are just a few examples of what we don't anticipate when we become parents.
So when I see movies about a mother's love, I always wonder if they can include the other side of the story. The side where the woman struggles to keep her own identity as well as be all these other people: wife, mother, neighbor, friend, etc.
It seems that is the real blind side. The part the woman tends to sacrifice because she's supposed to or it's too difficult to be more than one thing at a time and it is hard. but what I say to parents out there is never forget who you are and who you were before you became parents. Even if you're not proud of it, understand you are another person as well and appreciate who you are, all of who you are.

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