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When you and your spouse are angry with one another, do not take it out on the children.
They are easy targets because they are always around, but taking out daily frustrations on children doesn't resolve the problems between spouses.
Making comments like, "You are just like your father....your mother..." This will only hurt the children in the long run.
Understand, even if you apologize to the child, the words have already been said. Speak carefully when frustrated. The best bet, is to walk into another room and take a few deep breaths, realize what is about to be said and how harmful it could potentially be.
It doesn't mean things won't be said from time to time, but when a pattern of behavior is set and using kids as a verbal punching bag, it only leads to strained and harmful relationships.